Sunday, September 02, 2012:

Am I living my life? Maybe no, because I am only a fixation which only can exist, but can’t live life. Today I am feeling so low that I want to break some things, hit somebody and loud highly. It is funny but true that I tried many times to commit suicide. But I could not do it because of my fear ness. I am totally frustrated and confused. Basically I am bad because I deeply feel that I am bad. And I don't care what people consider me. Once someone told to me 'it is not matter what people think about you but it is matter what you think about yourself" I wish I were not there. Most of my friends impress to see my external look, they think I don't know what tension is and I enjoy the life. But this is not me actually. I am a looser. I know I have not much time but every moment is painful for me. Everyone will die once but I am dying everyday, every moment.