Friday, February 22, 2013

 It is an optimistic day for me. Time changes in every situation, but I am fixed. After 2008, my life became standstill. Though I am fixed, I don’t try to break this fixed situation. Someone may suggest that I should go forward. But I don’t go forward or break the fixed situation. While something was removing from my life, I just rechecked my memories. At the time of leaving, I recognized that I was also leaving my life. Right now my life is like a river without water. I am drying slowly day by day.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

 It’s a long day. I always try to keep away from them who try to help me. Most of the time, I try hardly but get success easily because I believe that destiny will give my rights until my policy is on the track. I might not copy from others because I want to do something in my own credit. If you believe that you are good, you will feel that no one is bad. I believe that I am a looser. Maybe it is the biggest plus point of my life. 

A looser has nothing to lose

But a gainer has many things to lose.

 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Now-a-days I am totally upset. Nothing is perfect and nothing is peaceful. Just searching for an answer “am I bad or worst?”. Life becomes standstill. It is fixed on the day when it was end. I want to go far away from all but the memory of that can not be removed. I am just burning without any reason. Every season of my life is going to be more painful. I would be happy if I had understood the situation.

Monday, February 11, 2013

I am feeling bad for some unknown reasons. I identify that I can not be happy like an unfulfilled soul at any situation. I hope that someone will understand me even better than me. There is nothing but fire burns inside me. All thoughts are chained and all hopes are destroyed. I feel that I am not living but just completing my duty. I hate to predict myself because I am totally frustrated. I know it is not possible for me to be friendly with anyone 

 

Friday, January 18, 2013

The year started with pain and pain. J But still I am trying hard. Memory is a complicated thing. Often we can’t remember a small thing which we want to remember and often we can’t forget a small thing which we want to forget.  I feel alone at the end of the day. I don’t know what is happening inside me. Problem is a part of life but it might not be a habit. Whenever I am ignored, I feel like a fish without water.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Whenever someone stepped forward, I stepped back. But at the time when someone steps back, I feel pain. Maybe someday comes when I step forward and life steps back.

Friday, December 14, 2012

laughing by hearing some funny stories. It is possible to show your real face but it is impossible to change your real face. Some people think that they are over smart but they are not able to match up the level of it. When someone feces the reality, he/she may feel that he/she can’t face it. I shouldn’t have believed them but I was not in sense. 

Saturday, December 08, 2012

I am feeling pain in my heat. I don’t know why I can’t express anything.

Life will be easy if everything is expressed by writing, not by telling

No one wants to understand me even my mom. I wish I were a person who can express anything. But it must not be possible. Once I lived my life very well but now my life is imprisoned in a jar. I am none. I am just a shadow which remains behind a person. Sides of my life are two. Firstly I am a person who is very friendly, smart and charming. On the other side, I am a person who is alone and seriously frustrated about everything.

By following a shadow, where I come.

The way in which I am standing is totally unknown,

Forgetting the way of the return, where I come.

The weather is smoky and none is here, where

Getting the light of sun but leaving all the well wishers, where I come.

                                 Walk and walk where I come, now I feel afraid to see back.      

                                                 

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

The people who do not express their feelings are real poor. I don’t know the psychological term of it. When someone starts storing their feelings, he/she also starts storing their pain. I am 21 year old and still alone. And I can realize that it is my life. I have no expectations from others but why do others expect from me? I love darkness because it is very known situation of my life.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

At the end the examinations are over. It feels me relief. Someone said “you have no manner”. Maybe the person is right. I am 100% sure that she is right. I don’t know how to behave in different circumstances. I often feel that I am an alien who is the only one in the earth.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Today is the starting day of midterm exam. The day is full of its speed. I am just recognizing that I am actually not so bad but also too weak to express. Someone said me “you should express your thought in order to decline distress” he did not know that I was actually distress.

Friday, November 09, 2012

Realization may be hard to define, but easy to feel. Someone asked me why I was there. Now I know the answer. Basically I am a freedom fighter. I mean I did not fight for country but I fought for me. So I am logically a freedom fighter. I need an independent life. Someone who is in position may feel that he/she is free. But my definition of freedom may be unique in my angle and many people feel that I am totally mental patient. Yah! They are completely right. Freedom means doing something what you actually want to do. From my childhood, I just want to go away from all. I mean I just run away from all. Maybe I am selfish; maybe I am worst than your expectation. But it does not have any basic logic.