Monday, October 08, 2012

It’s the busiest day of the year so far. I actually realize what basically I do. I don’t need concentration because I can’t focus in one direction. I always focus there and here without any reason/ with reason. If something is predicted, the result of it will always be predictable. And I hate predictable things. I love surprises and I hope that life will surprise me at any point of time. It is funny that I never count anything which is done y me. When I decided to take computer as a 4th subject at class nine along in the class, I am asked many questions by some people. They thought I could not perform well in the main subjects then why I took a hard subject like computer along. At that time, I didn’t care about anything and I just listened to my heart. Basically I hate competition because I consider me as the weakest in any direction for all time. I am not special one but whenever I look at my mom and dad, I can understand that I may be someone who is special for them. I feel that my life is not my own life. I know I can’t express love but love doesn’t mean that you have to say ‘I love you’ each and every time to someone who is liked by you.

Saturday, October 06, 2012

feeling disturbing for some unknown reason can be reason for some unknown pain. Basically I am not feeling well now.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Days are going so fast that I can not adjust with that. After a long time, my classes started from last day. The result was published on 26 September. I got CGPA 3.538 which was just about ok. Last day I felt amazing when I was in the road and it was raining. The road was quiet and I feel alone in a crowded road for one second.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

I always forget that I am a human. Some things remain in the air that can not be seen if anyone wants to see it.

Tuesday, September, 18, 2012

Some calls are come from those which are unexpected and heart-touchable. Last day I received a call which is actually touched my heart. I was very emotional during talking in my phone. The call was made by my school friend ‘YASIN’. I really feel I am not so mutual that I can handle a relationship. I don’t know why I can’t concentrate my mind in one way. I always focus here and there which is basically my problem.

Sunday, September 02, 2012:

Am I living my life? Maybe no, because I am only a fixation which only can exist, but can’t live life. Today I am feeling so low that I want to break some things, hit somebody and loud highly. It is funny but true that I tried many times to commit suicide. But I could not do it because of my fear ness. I am totally frustrated and confused. Basically I am bad because I deeply feel that I am bad. And I don't care what people consider me. Once someone told to me 'it is not matter what people think about you but it is matter what you think about yourself" I wish I were not there. Most of my friends impress to see my external look, they think I don't know what tension is and I enjoy the life. But this is not me actually. I am a looser. I know I have not much time but every moment is painful for me. Everyone will die once but I am dying everyday, every moment.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Music has no language, words or meaning but has only a sense that makes us happy and gives peace. Basically I like any kind of music if the melody of the song is perfect. For me, music can fulfill one’s heart with its ultimate power. If I am in pain, I will listen to emotional songs. If I am happy, I will hear dancing or light trucks.
From my point of views, sometimes music can say somethings which may be i can't say.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Last day was my accounting exam which was very badly performed by me. I had no game-plan that’s why it happened with me. But I notice one thing and that is that I am scamp because I can’t feel gloomy for a long time.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I spend my whole EID in my room this year and watch some movies. The weather is wonderful for remaining in home. It looks like a broken angel who cries after sometimes.

Start is for end
Life is for remaining
Study is for fun
Family is for security
Dream is for someday
Love is for pain
Pain is for life
And I am for nothing

Thursday, 16 August 2012

I can be a worst If a measurement is required. I consider me a the weakest because it is the perfect definition of mine. I always expect the lowest thing which can earn easily. For me, i do not able to calculate the accurate calculation.

Sunday, August 05, 2012

It was a long day. I just want to go where my fate takes me. Last day, I heard some really nice words from our math teacher. He described the reality but I can’t face reality because I am not for this world in reality. I know the people who love me, will be always with me.

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Sunday, August 05, 2012: It is a long day. I just want to go where my fate takes me. Last day, I heard some really nice words from our math teacher. He described the reality but I can’t face reality because I am not for this world in reality. He told us that we should find our duties and do it. I know the people who love me, will be always with me.