Sunday, October 4, 2020

Everyone is a hero in his or her life and every life is a story of movie. There are some certain villains and supporting casts around us. There are many turns and twists that make it more uncertain. But uncertainty is the best way to explore the new. Every failure is the less important one and every success is just a way to achieve ultimate goal. 

As the story progresses, we start loosing ourselves. We are just stuck between the heart and the world. It looks like a war. The world wins most of the time. Because it is our fault to avoid risk and play safe. 

We actually forget ourselves and make ourselves in such way that the society wants. As a result, we are no more hero and act like someone else. When we loose our identity, the life starts feeling a burden. 

Thursday, September 24, 2020 (Depression, over expectation, Deserving - Planning and finding out alternatives)

The period of depression comes in the life now and then. It doesn't matter how long it will last. Feeling depressed is not a sin and it is very common feeling. 

There are many reasons behind depression. One of the most influencing fact is over-expectation. Over expectation forces us to expect more than our capabilities. It is not a sin either to expect more than one's capabilities. All the living creatures expect more. Problem doesn't arise from over expectation. It arises when we assume the over expectation as our deserving thing without much effort. Mixing over-expectation with deserving thing is the main problem in case of depression. 

What do I deserve actually??? 

Before answering the question, I have to think which things I got which I actually didn't deserve. The list is not short. 

Over expectation is not a problem if we plan, work and try our best to achieve it. But people only think about it without much efforts. It is not our prime duty to think about deserving. Only thinking about deserving thing without much efforts is not ideal at all. There are many things in life expect thinking about it. 

At the same time, we should not compare our life with others. We don't know about back ground history of the targeted person. Other's success should be our inspiration rather than our depression. 

For me, I love to be depressed by various factors. Being depressed is not my weakness. I consider it as my biggest strength. Whenever I become depressed, I start planning and implementing it. And I know my abilities and my deserving things. But I always expect one step lower than my deserving thing. :) 

Sunday, September 14, 2020 (Believing in half picture)

It is not surprising fact that most of people believe in half true or shown true. When you judge a picture by seeing it's half part & assume it as full picture, you can be misguided easily. Similarly they don't have enough time to research facts and factors to create own judgement. 

A sector of people shows us half picture and emphasizes to believe on it. It is not an odd act in our society. Almost everyone shows us half picture of a full scenario. Because it increases their influencing power. It doesn't matter that they misguide many people. 

To solve it, we need to use our brain. At first, we must hear all the details, then search new sources of getting information, analyzing facts and trying to create your own judgement. Asking question is not an act of sin. Whenever there is a question, there must be a solution. Everything can be proven if you have ability to find it. 

When asking question is considered as a sinful act, then yes, I am a sinner. 

Friday, September 4, 2020 (No companion)

 I don't need any companion at all. I don't mind when there is no one with me. If someone is not with me and makes companion with the persons against me. I don't mind either in this situation. 

As it is human behavior, he/she has rights to select his/her side. It is quite natural that human selects wrong side most of the time. Due to benefits & personal relationship, people don't think too much about which side is right & which side is wrong. 

Anything goes in their favor is right for them and anything goes against them is wrong for them. I said the same thing before. 

I never try to make relationship for getting favor and making relationship is not a deal for me. 

I have been thinking about my life for last one week. No one is with me and no one will help me unless they get benefitted by me. There is no one who stands for me even though I was not wrong or my points were logical. 

The world is a game of taking benefits and there is a few persons who don't care about it. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2020 (life continues)

It doesn't matter how bad scenario someone is facing. The life continues and goes on. Sometimes, it is quite impossible to know about your situation by your nearby people. Life is like a house of cards where everything is quite uncertain. No one knows what uncertain situation will arrive in upcoming future. We can plan for future with strong prediction and plan may be supported by alternatives. But future is still uncertain. 

Whatever problems I am facing are completely my matter. I don't want to share it as I don't want to keep it myself. Once I didn't like to getting pain. Then getting pain became a habit and now it becomes an addiction. 

Still I believe and strengthen my mind to overcome each and every situation. After a long period of time, my heart is actually broken by some incidents. It doesn't matter because the life continues. 😇😇😇

Saturday, August 08, 2020 (loosing focus)

 It is quite natural to loose focus. I often loose focus on the main target but I recognize it and fix it up quickly. After a long period of time, I feel that I am loosing my focus on almost everything. The reason behind it is obviously routine less life. One of the influencing things is the large scale of time available during the period of lockdown. 

I was not organized. At the same time, there were no compulsory duties like study. I did many random works in various way. I was quite afraid of COVID-19. As a result, there was a lack of organized works in the life. My brain became slow.

But there was a saying "came late but came correct". I have intended to take many steps to correct each & every unfavourable situation.      

 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020 (confused)

For some days, I may miss something about which I don’t know. There are random thoughts on my mind without a proper direction. I am also confused in some degrees. The reasons behind it are unknown and totally random. For more than 4 months, I am approximately locked in my life. There are no sudden possibility to overcome it. I don’t know the ending point of it. I am totally confused, depressed and frustrated now from inside.       

 

Friday, June 19, 2020 (hair loss)

Few days ago, I saw a movie named Bala. The story is about a person who tries hard to stop hair loss and faces problems due to baldness. The movie gives an appreciable message that love yourself and don’t consider others opinion to you. In life, we face problems and overcome it after a while. Some problems can be fixed and some are unfixable. But unfixable problems have some alternative solutions. Most of the persons don’t consider alternative solutions as real solutions. 

I faced a problem in 2018. Before discussing it, I must mention the origin of the problem. When I was in class 8, I had suddenly recognized that speed of my hair fall increased. Speed continued increasing year after year and I started searching the solution. Sometimes, I used a certain product like shampoo, hair oil to stop hair fall. But it never stopped. Shaving hair declined the hair fall for a certain period of time. But it is not ultimate solution. Though I faced too much hair fall from class 9/10, the growth of my hair may have been much more. 

In 2018, I recognized that there is a small white spot in the middle left side of my head. There was no hair. At first, I was not tensed at all. After a few days later, it started growing and it became very large after 2 months later. Then I started searching the solution and tried to get a solution and found a video that I could trust. I went to a local doctor who told me the same thing. I was ready to take injunctions in my head. Every injunction was taken 28 days from previous one. I took 3 injunctions and the hair started growing after 15/20 days later of 1^st injunction. 1^st injunction was very painful but I could handle it. Approximately 6 months later, the place became very normal. There were enough hairs.

It is not a big thing at all but the story is untold and it was a tough time for me. I tried hard to get a solution rather than to get depressed. Solution exists nearby and we need to have patience to see it. 

  

Saturday, June 13, 2020 (Coincidence)

Coincidence is not very rare in the life. It happens less frequently in the life. There is nothing special for a coincided event. It is just a probability that can occur.

When there is a long series of coincidence. It arises question about the authenticity of the event. Is it a coincidence or planned event. A planned can be assumed as a coincidence if it is presented in such way. But a planned event can not be considered as a coincidence. When there is a complex coincidence, I become very curious to know all ins and outs of the event. Maybe I am just overthinking but It's my habit.         

Wednesday, June 10, 2020 (Embracement and Mistake)

I try my best to avoid embracing situation  most of the time. In fact, it is the most pathetic situation for me. Today, I am embraced for an uncertain situation which is definitely not preferable for me. 

I know i may have done mistake but I can not find the source of problem. The situation is that I can not properly guess the solution either. 

I felt actual pain when situation like it happen in the life. I can digest any bad situation but i can not crop up with embracing situation.                       

Sunday, May 31, 2020 (lockdown has ended)

Finally government does not increase the duration of lockdown and businesses open from today. The public transports especially buses are going to run from tomorrow. But public must follow some "hygiene instructions" imposed by the government. Everything seems normal. Is it true or is it going to be a nightmare?????

I don’t know the exact answer. My estimation indicates me that something worst is going to happen. The number of infected persons is increasing day by day.  

When things like this had just started happening, I ate burgers, Sharwma  and  other foods. Because life is totally uncertain and we don’t know about duration of our life. And it’s not in our hand either.    

Monday, May 25, 2020 (Eid during the period of Lockdown)

It is Eid Ul Fitr-2020. After fasting 30 days, Eid Ul Fitr comes to every Muslim as the biggest festival. Scenario is little different this year as the world is not a safe place at all. The whole world is covered with the cloud of fear. The fear comes from Corona virus. The number of infected persons is increasing day by day which is not a good sign at all. At the end of March, Bangladesh was in last 30^th country and today it stands at 25^th country. At the same time, government plans to withdraw restriction imposed by them. 

From my childhood, Eid Ul Fitr is very special. After all, it is a festival for celebrating with family, friends, relatives. Last year, I did not go anywhere but there was no fear at that time. I have not gone to mosque for offering Eid prayer this year, though the prayers were allowed to offer in the mosques now.

Today, I feel like remaining in a jail. The worst part is that I have the key to unlock the prison but I want to remain in the prison. :)